A Mistooken Mishap

A Mistooken Mishap


By Ryan Hartwig

Written February 2012 


When on a lovely summer day,

As you upon your hammock lay,

I brought some flowers for you to smell.


But as I came walking,

You rocked and from your hammock fell.


I gasped and dropped those flowers three,

And ran to help but all I could see,


Was another face, not your own,

Your face I had mistaken.


There was no fence and I got lost,

And mistook her face for you.


The lady accepted my kindly help,

And then I said to her “welp”,


“You’re not the one I had in mind,

But I hope you wouldn’t mind,


Pointing me in the direction of the one I came for,

You see, I get lost all the time.”


She slapped me on the cheek five times,

And with an angry look she said.


“Noé you silly little boy, you think me a decoy?!

I landed on my face so hard,

Some parts swapped places, and now I’m me,

Except with a different set-up.


So since you’ve helped me get up,

And now that I’ve already sat up.


If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to smell,

Those beautiful roses three.”

Happy Hearts

Happy Hearts

written 8/20/2011 by Ryan Hartwig

Hearts united in love,

Enlightenment from above,

The conversation never stops on time.


A daily dose of fun,

To combat all the glum,

The laughing always prompts a pretty smile.


Tired after a long day’s work,

Our duties we did not shirk,

A tired family makes for peaceful, happy hearts.


A simply child’s lullaby,

A hymn, a poem, make us wonder why,

We ever wanted more than just a little time.


Time spent with family, with friends, and kin

The quiet moments, the laughter, the ruckus and din,

All make for a rewarding, happy life.


The paychecks come and go,

And we enjoy making dough.


Yet there is nothing more sublime,

Than a little family time.

Mortgage Rap



Never TILA lie, but tell the cost of credit,

APR and finance charge, so your clients get it.

Make sure you disclose, before you grow your nose, the following list and how it goes.


TIL statement and a guide

A charming booklet that adjusts just fine

A prepayment disclosure for them peeps

and notice of their right to rescind

HELIicopters(HELOCS) line up at your home

with a chance of ARM balloons if that’s your type of loan.


Reg Z gives some  time guidelines

For the TIL Statement the lender provides.

After the app arrives, we have 3 days,

At the latest 7 days before closing day.


What defines an app, for TI LA,

6 bits of info, think about it, duh

3 from the borrower, and 3 from the property

name, social, income for the first,

Next comes value, address, loan amount.


After they close, and everything is rosy

The client still has 3 days to rescind.

Every business day, and time runs away, every day counts, except sundays, holidays.

But failure to notify, or understated buy, gives the buyer 3 more years to decide.


Advertising sucks, with all these guidelines,

And the feds get along with Steve Lines

Number means trigger, so watch what you say, better tell the APR or bye to Fannie Mae.

Terms to fit your budget, 12% APR, both are acceptable things to say.


And so ends my rap, of TILA, it’s better than vanilla, and you’ll close your Deala.




Listen to it here: Advocate 3


by Ryan Hartwig


Don’t give up do whatever it takes,

To become worthy, of God’s grace.


Focus on improvement, and recognize

The little things you’re doing right no matter the size.


Think about relationships, with self and with God.


What is it, I believe of me, myself and I,

good or bad or ugly,

capable and cute.


Are these my own thoughts, or do they come from others,

and do they align themselves with God’s own opinion.


Instead of the negative, think of something good.


Be happy and positive, like you know you should.


Let God come heal you through his merits, mercy, grace.[1]


Like an army medic he responds to your call,

And through your faith obedience brings comfort to us all.[2]


He is our advocate, the very best attorney.[3]


And while we’re on the gurney, he’s standing up to plead.[4]


For our cause and liberty, deliverance from sin.


He loves us so much, and he’s our next of kin.


Listen to his Word, and feast upon his love, for you may forever if your minds are firm.[5]

[1] 2 Nephi 2:8, 3 Nephi 9:13

[2] Isaiah 57:18

[3] Moroni 7:28

[4] Isaiah 51:22, Isaiah 3:13, Jacob 3:1

[5] Jacob 3:2


A Successful Bar

The happiest of men are those who are,
continually raising the bar.

For why be content with the progress you’ve made,
in a morning or afternoon sit.

Not for glory or praise, or a measly raise,
do these men strive for their best.

But rather for self, and family and more,
in order to better themselves.

They accomplish a lot, and see the progress,
all the while keeping it real.

For despite the success in a competitive world,
They set their eyes on the most precious pearl.

Which is time spent, with a family in need,
of loving and caring and joy.

Thus the bar that needs raising, the push for success,
not only is felt at work.

But may we feel the need, of a willing knee,
ready to sit a child, while we attend to every need.